“Wait, wait, wait! So you’re telling me that I should play an imponderable game in order to woo a man? And where would said elusiveness get either of us in the end?”
These are the concluding arguments that have perpetuated in my mind after a conversation involving dating etiquette or in this case, lack there of, earlier today. I have mindlessly assessed time and time again why women act that way or why a man plays that game but neither seem to produce a prolific alibi. Honestly, where have most of you gotten playing the push and pull dance? Heartache, imprudence, idiocy, shamefulness… and those are just a few of the terms that come to mind in regards to the aftermath of standing in a “grey” area with another.
Ah, yes. I became victim to abiding by the rules of “He’s Just Not That Into You” awhile back but then I had an epiphany not too long ago- Why am I paying for a book illustrating a man’s adverse behavior when I should already be aware of the signals? There are not enough self-help novels in the world to help the opposite sexes figure one another out but it does not take a genius to know the difference between acceptable behavior and detrimental action.
Most women put too much emphasis on finding “the man,” and this is an idea that I refuse succumbing to because love cannot be forced nor should a woman embody her own happiness into that of a man’s presence. I was that girl, that foolish young thing hanging on every word a man whispered in my ear; silly girl, tricks are for kids. I know my worth and that is more than most can say but by God it took me awhile to get here.
I find it amusing that today’s society has the most difficult time saying what they mean when nine out of ten times that kind of integrity would have saved you from whatever affliction might have accrued afterwards. If you’re out there getting down on the dating dance floor than let loose! An abundance of time could be saved between the two parties if one were to just convey their wants in the beginning.
In the last year, I have started to become a woman I admire; reputable and desirable. If I like you, I will let you know but I never expect anything to be defined in that moment of vulnerability. I cannot control the way another feels but I can command the respect I deserve; defenseless yet adamant.
Sometimes loneliness ensues and you long for the butterflies but love and relationships are not to be contrived, so you keep living. My advice to you all would be to tell whomever your dating what you’re feeling during the moment it palpitates through your being, if it is not mutual than let go because so much of life is wasted on waiting when everything we want in this world is just right outside our comfort zone.
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