End of the Beginning.

I feel like I am breaking; glass imploding through my taut skin.
There are things I want to say without suppressing in adamancy
But the pride I wallow in seems to asphyxiate the words I long to hear.

Hush, don't cry now.
Tears soaked through my blue eyes,
While I felt the damage you had done pulsating in my veins.
You know how people always phrase " how do you sleep at night?"
Really, how do you sleep at night; i'd like to know.

I am not conditioned to express my emotion in a conducive manner.
My past permeates without an ounce of absolution; please just leave.
Five years have come and gone but the wounds of your desertion are fresh;
Reopening every time you decide to play make believe.

I have to make a choice and this will change me infinitely.
Too many windows have opened and closing all of them will bring serenity.
But disclosing a door could bring a sense of love I have longed for since you left.
I refuse to become who you are regardless of the decision;
Living a life of silent desolation without heartache is alarmingly erroneous.




Contempt loves the silence
It thrives in the dark
With fine winding tendrils
That strangle the heart