cyclical

I cannot say I buy into the whole everything happens for a reason drivel  

and I imagine life would be less painful if we could self-edit; 

there are so many moments and people I would cut. 

One click of the mouse and just like that 

the moment that changed everything can evaporate but alas, 

real life is unedited. 

There are so many pieces of my being that I suppress 

as a defense against everything and anyone. 

Concealing so much of myself can be terribly lonesome 

but after being disappointed so many times, 

why would I want to open my heart. 

The truth is, 

I want to believe in the human race again. 

I am drowning in a sea of ambiguity and each time I reach the surface 

a wave of doubt overcomes me;

I am forever waiting for breath or asphyxiation.

I want so much to survive. 

I have considered reprisal, amongst other acts of malevolence,

but only to realize how cowardly it would be 

and how even the slightest taste of vengeance would never erase the past. 

So, here I am, bleeding for all to see 

and the only thing I ask of you 

is to leave the bag of salt at the door. 

I want so much to open your eyes

                     'Cause I need you to look into mine

                               Tell me that you'll open your eyes